Deuteronomy 21-23
Apr. 13th, 2010 11:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wolfpurplemoon posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
wolfbiblemoonCSI: Israel would be a much shorter show than any actual CSI episode. When a body is found and the cause of death is unknown, the elders and priests have to slaughter a heifer and wash their hands and pretend they didn't see it.
If you take a liking to a woman who's city you are busy slaughtering, you can take her home and give her a month to get over the loss of her entire family before marrying and sleeping with her. But if you then decide you don't really like her much then just let her go no questions asked.
The punishment for rape depends on the location of the act (and it might not even be rape, depends on the marital status of the woman). In the city both the man and woman must be killed because the woman would have been overheard if she'd cried out. In the country just the man need die as the woman wouldn't be heard if she cried out. Sounds logical to me.
Rebellious sons must be stoned to death, but then one of the commandments was to honour your parents, so they had it coming I guess.
God really hates cross dressing, so no trousers for women, maybe?
God has some form of OCD, he really hates the mixing of things, different crops can't be planted together, an ox and an ass can't work together, and clothes can't be made of two materials.
Oh good, I finally have justification for not going to church (apart from the whole not believing any of it), bastards and their descendants to ten generations must not join the congregation. I have several ancestors with uncertain paternity or certain conception before marriage, looks like my whole family are off the hook there then!
Chapter 23 includes such gems as denying entry to the congregation to certain races, whores or sodomites, and to men who have injuries to their testicles or penis, how to become clean after a wet dream, how to go about burying your excrement (not for sanitation reasons, but because God might visit and see it) and instructions to only lend money to strangers. Seriously, I think God has ADD on top of his OCD, he can't stick to one subject for long at all, it's like he's got so much to say he's just getting it all out as he thinks of it.
If you take a liking to a woman who's city you are busy slaughtering, you can take her home and give her a month to get over the loss of her entire family before marrying and sleeping with her. But if you then decide you don't really like her much then just let her go no questions asked.
The punishment for rape depends on the location of the act (and it might not even be rape, depends on the marital status of the woman). In the city both the man and woman must be killed because the woman would have been overheard if she'd cried out. In the country just the man need die as the woman wouldn't be heard if she cried out. Sounds logical to me.
Rebellious sons must be stoned to death, but then one of the commandments was to honour your parents, so they had it coming I guess.
God really hates cross dressing, so no trousers for women, maybe?
God has some form of OCD, he really hates the mixing of things, different crops can't be planted together, an ox and an ass can't work together, and clothes can't be made of two materials.
Oh good, I finally have justification for not going to church (apart from the whole not believing any of it), bastards and their descendants to ten generations must not join the congregation. I have several ancestors with uncertain paternity or certain conception before marriage, looks like my whole family are off the hook there then!
Chapter 23 includes such gems as denying entry to the congregation to certain races, whores or sodomites, and to men who have injuries to their testicles or penis, how to become clean after a wet dream, how to go about burying your excrement (not for sanitation reasons, but because God might visit and see it) and instructions to only lend money to strangers. Seriously, I think God has ADD on top of his OCD, he can't stick to one subject for long at all, it's like he's got so much to say he's just getting it all out as he thinks of it.
