wolfbiblemoon

What's more pointless than several chapters minutely detailing how to build a tabernacle and worship properly? More chapters where the instructions are carried out and described in the same amount of detail. Whoever assembled this part of the bible was really obsessed with this particular set of instructions. I keep thinking I've skipped back a few pages and am rereading a section.

God finishes explaining all his rules and Moses returns to his people to find them being sinful

* God spent so long telling Moses all those detailed rules that the Israelites decided to make their own gods (a golden calf) and worship them by dancing naked and sacrificing some animals. That's definitely the first thing I'd think to do if I was bored.

* God has another totally unreasonable reaction, because they weren't following his rules (which they hadn't been told yet as Moses was still chatting with God on Mount Sinai) 3000 of them die by the swords of the people God doesn't mind so much and then sends a plague for the rest of them because he hadn't finished being angry about them defying him.

* Moses broke the tablets with the rules on in his anger so I guess that means he'll have to go back and get some more, great.

God gives very detailed instructions for building a place to worship him. Like stupidly detailed, this goes on for another 4 chapters after the 3 I just read...

* God really likes gold, that is all I have to say about this section...

The rules are laid down by God via Moses

* The SAB compares the elaborate way that Moses talks to God and passes the messages on with the Wizard of Oz. Noone apart from Moses (or his brother Aaron!) is allowed to go and speak to God and bring back the commandments and other rules, the rest of his people (and the livestock!) are threatened with death if they even touch the Mount, and God is hidden amongst the smoke. Seems like Moses went out of his way to make his people believe he was talking to God, but there's not much proof of that.

* God's rules are either totally silly, totally patriarchal or actually plain common sense. And as the previous book and the first 18 chapters of this book don't really sell the bible as a foundation for a moral code there doesn't seem to be much reason to treat it as such now just because a few of the commandments make a bit of sense. Besides, it's all ruined immediately after with the list of things you can stone people (and animals!) for and instructions on how to own slaves.

And anyway, I prefer George Carlin's version:

Not satisfied with the plagues, the Lord slaughters the Egyptian firstborns and then drowns the army in the sea, the people of Israel are all happy about this.

* Parting the red sea, totally ridiculous, but not the most ridiculous thing that has happened so far.

Moses and his brother Aaron help God afflict a variety of plagues on the Egyptians for not letting their people go

* In order to disprove that the plagues are coming from the God of Moses and Aaron, Pharaoh's magicians do the same tricks. Surely a better way of proving they are not coming from God is to undo them? If they were coming from God then perhaps it would not be possible to undo them? I don't know, bible logic isn't exactly easy to follow. And eventually they find one they can't do so have to concede that God is really behind these plagues.

* Pharaoh is probably going to need some kind of cholesterol treatment because after every appeal to free the slaves and after each plague recedes his heart hardens as he reneges on the promise to free them. But he's only refusing because God hardened his heart, so another plague is sent, hardening his heart further, what kind of crazy feedback loop is this?

* I've never heard of this Aaron guy before (he is Moses' brother), but he seems to do just as much chatting with God, appealing with Pharaoh and raising the rod to bring a plague as Moses does. I wonder why Moses is the one more often mentioned, why does he get more credit for being nasty to Egyptians than his brother?

A quick fast forward through the generations after Jacob (no begats, phew!) and then we meet Moses

* The current Pharaoh decides that the Hebrews would make really good slaves, so sets them to work on building things. He also thinks there are too many of them, so demands that every male child is killed at birth. These sort of acts are actually appear to be bad for once, now that it's not one of the 'chosen' people or God himself who are committing them.

* Moses' mother manages a good scheme, she put Moses in a basket and floats him down the river, then an Egyptian princess sees the baby and gets a Hebrew woman to nurse him for pay. His mother is that woman, she gets to look after her baby and get paid for it, pretty good deal that!

* God always appeared in person to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, but now he has to utilise a burning bush in order to tell Moses to free the Hebrews from slavery. It's funny that these people are always alone when they have a conversation with God, very convenient. So now God promises to kill any Egyptians who prevent the slaves from escaping, because it's OK when God does it.